Weight Loss Tips
Weight loss tips, from a fat bloke? Has the world gone mad? Would you eat in a restaurant that had a thin chef? Would you go to see an eye specialist with cataracts? Come on, who is trying to kid who here!
Ok, I’ll spill the beans. The whole purpose of this post is to prove to you that even a fat bloke like me can at least think about losing some weight and to do that he’s gonna need some tips on how to do it, right? So hand onto your hats, folks, cause this is gonna sound pretty strange, at least from where I’m sitting!
I admit that I need to lose about thirty pounds to gtet back to looking like just a mildly fat bloke, instead of this very fat bloke that stares back at me in the mirror. That’s gonna take some hard work and to be honest, at first I didn’t want to know. Would you? I kinda like sitting around all day, playing computer games, watching TV and eating a load of junk food. I like junk food!
Problem is I guess it don’t like me too much, so I’m gonna have to rethink my strategy here. Was a time when being fat wasn’t much of a problem for me cause I could get around just fine and felt ok. But just lately, I started finding that getting out of bed in the morning was hard and I was getting problems with gout.
Gout!
Jeez, that’s for old guys who drink too much red wine and port and eat too much… oh yeah, too much rich food and I guess hamburgers count there. So do pizza, fries, chocolate cake and cookies also count. Aw crap!
Anyways, I had to see a doctor and he put it on the level for me. Lose some weight ASAP or get more of the same and worse to come. Well, I kinda like being able to get around and this gout is real painful, so now I have no choice other than to heed the words of the professional guy and… man this is hard to say… go on a diet!
Not only that, but I gotta get some exercise too. Kinda hard when you foot is twice its normal size and hurts like you wouldn’t believe! But that’s the deal, so its looking at some weight loss tips for me until I can lose said thirty pounds and get rid of the gout. So I’ll be trawling around some sites to get some good tips and ideas how I should do this without it being too hard for me. Cause I’m still a lazy guy and I want to do this as painlessly as I can!
So we shall see…
So Many Tips for Losing Weight!
Not that this fat bloke is really all that interested of course, but its getting so there are so many of those annoying tips for losing weight flying around the Internet that its getting difficult to avoid them! Here’s something that I found of passing interest while tucking into a large slice of chocolate cake the other day:
Once you have decided that it is the right time to start a weight loss program of your own, the one thing you can not get enough of is good quality and useful information on the subject. There are plenty of places you can visit online that will provide you with that information, but when you come across a website that can provide you with the means of finding 100 ways to lose weight all together in one place and not just subheadings an a line or two beneath, but 100 full blown articles explaining each tip as it goes, then you have found something worth reading.
It seems that you can learn all about a huge variety of different dieting methods along with many ways of exercising, many of which may not even seem like exercising. Okay, I can handle the sound of not exercising! There are also tips that will help you to get your mental state in the right frame to lose weight, which is equally as important as the physical side of the process. There are also many helpful tips and tricks that will make the whole process seem a lot easier and more enjoyable, which just has to be the very best way to lose weight and boost your overall health in many different ways.
Yes, yes I know all that and I truly believe that its a good thing to be able to tap into your mental power to instantly burn off the calories. But is it as important as knowing where the best place to buy cream covered apple pie can be found? I’m not so sure!
What is All the Fuss About Weight Loss Diets?
Lately I’ve been quite fond of eating a great deal of chocolate based foods for no better reason that they’re darn tasty and delicious! heck, even some of those diet experts are saying that there is some good stuff in chocolate, which makes it all the more appealing as a major diet staple. Who needs celery sticks and lettuce when you can have chocolate cake that fills you up much better?
Well I was thinking on this very subject the other day when it dawned on me that there has to be more to this than meets the eye. If chocolate really is a good thing — and don’t for one second think that it it is not (or you’ll be lost and damned forever) — then how come it is still avoided by the super thin? This wonderful stuff is appearing in so many foods that you see advertised on TV like healthy stuff like breakfast cereal. So it must be catching on that it really is the health food of the new century!
I think all weight loss diets that are on the drawing board right now should include copious amounts of chocolate in their menus. And don’t just reserve it for power snack bars or low fat desserts. Get some of that precious stuff in the main meals too. Yeah, like meatloaf, potatoes and hash browns covered in chocolate sauce, or ham and eggs with waffles covered in chocolate and maple syrup!
Does it sound like I’m dreaming or something? Okay, maybe that is a little far fetched. Who in their right mind would put maple syrup on chocolate covered waffles? Well maybe…
So if you’re contemplating your next diet folks, remember that you heard it here first. Ditch the calorie counters and make with the chocolate bars and sauce to really ramp up your diet into something that you really want to eat. I can’t see anyone wanting to quit a diet like that early, can you?
Would You Want a Diet Delivered to Your Home?
Come on, think about it. Would you really want a bunch of diet meals dumped on your doorstep? I mean, you would have to store them someplace and then eat those meals each day because after all it would be downright rude to let all that food go to waste!
So once the decision has been made to do something positive about the problem of being over weight and unhealthy, it only needs for the next step which is to decide upon the best method of accomplishing those aims. While this strategy might be for other folks, certainly not me, I guess you have to admit that many people prefer to take the easiest way of doing that and will often settle for whichever diet company can offer them the solution with the least amount of effort they will have to take.
One of the best ways of doing this is to make full use of the advantages of diet food delivery and one of the big companies such as Nutrisystem or JC who can literally do everything for the dieter except eat the food for them! Wait on, the day I let someone eat cherry cake for me is the day I exit this mortal plane!
But one thing that I can’t deny is interesting about this kind of food is that it means someone else is preparing all the food a person will need for the period of their diet, packaging it all up and then having it delivered to their home. The great thing about this is that the dieter really has little else to do apart from feed themselves because all the work has been done by the company and each meal is simply taken out of its package when needed and either put in the microwave or not, depending on whether it is to be eaten hot or cold.
The rest is literally up to the dieter to stick to the plan and they will lose weight as easily as they imagined! That is, of course, assuming that I might ever become a dieter. Unless you class eating the biggest slices of blueberry pie and cream imaginable as the latest fad diet — I’m all in for that one!
Diet Food Delivery to Your Door?
You gotta be kidding me. A diet that’s delivered to your door? Apparently not, I guess. You hear about these special super convenient diet plans all the time on TV now, from the likes of Nutrisystem and Jenny Craig where they ship all your meals in a box and you just eat it in place of your regular food.
Sounds to me like a pretty easy way to lose weight, except I can see one big problem with this diet food delivery thing. What do you do if you eat everything by lunchtime and you’re still hungry? I guess you could go into the box and borrow some stuff from tomorrow’s menu. But then you’d have an even worse problem tomorrow. Like no food to eat at all.
Oh well, nice idea, but I can’t see it being any use to me. I like to eat too much and if there isn’t plenty spare in the fridge or in the pantry, then I just go to the store and buy more. Apparently, with these diets, you’re not supposed to do that. At least not if you want to lose weight with thyme.
Oh, hang on… you’re supposed to lose weight?
Ah, so that’s what this is all about. You sign up for Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem to lose weight, not just eat a bunch of food they send you so save you hauling your lazy behind out of the chair to go to the store! So that’s the secret!
Of course, if I really wanted to get thin, which I don’t particularly, then I’m sure I would probably have to order Nutrisystem AND Jenny Craig at the same time. That’s so I’d have enough convenient diet food to eat and it would probably be less calories than I eat right now. Now that’s my kind of diet.